Disclaimer: Bryan writes this at 3 a.m. while very tired and kind of whacky...expect mostly rambling, and a list later on.
It sure would be nice to come home late at night happy more often than sad, regretful, and (insert negative emotions here). Once again it is way past most people's bedtimes, yet I'm staring at the glowing computer screen while listening to laments for lost loves, broken relationships, and dead people. Someone very close to me would probably tell me that the reason I feel this way is because I'm listening to these sad songs. I used to agree.
Right now I'm listening to a song that goes something like:
"'Cause love is different than you'd think
It's never in a song or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's alright
Love is different than you think
Because you can't just turn it off
And put a blindfold on your heart"
The author, Derek Webb, noted about the song, "As often as our culture tries to tell us what love is, I thought I would put down a little of what I believe love is not. Love is neither a 30-minute sitcom, nor is it a sappy pop ballad. Rather, it is the most difficult and most profound of human experiences, but thanks to our post-modern culture coupled with our own capacity for sin, it’s often much different than we would think."
Sorry for all the quotes, but I really liked that for some reason. I agree Derek, from my meager experiences I can already tell that Love can be very difficult, but also very rewarding. I just hate how much it sucks when its difficult.
Why am I such an idiot?
Here are 15 reasons why I am an idiot....
1. I drink a full gatorade every night right before I go to bed, even though I hate having to get up to piss at 8 a.m.... yet I still drink the gatorade.
2. I take for granted everything I have.
3. I am a difficult person to be in love with. Sorry Chelsea.
4. I stay up really late every night even though I dont' like staying up late.
5. The reason I stay up late is that I'm too lazy to get ready for bed.
6. I ask for respect but I don't give enough.
7. I push everything way too far, and always regret it later.
8. I make lists about why I am an idiot.
9. I am too critical of everything.
10. I ignore the good in anything and only focus on the bad.
11. I lament things I can't control that really aren't that big of deal, and are going to happen whether I like it or not.
12. I create drama sometimes even though I hate it.
13. I want to believe but I put no effort out towards exploring.
14. Everything that I am an idiot for I can fix, but probably won't.
15. I give up too easily, such as ending this list at 15 when I could probably list many many more vices.
How about you guys, what are one or two of the things that you think or an idiot for? | 
